Night Terrors
by Settiai
Summary: Sebastian wasn't certain what had woken him up at first.


Sebastian wasn't certain what had woken him up at first.

He stared at up at the night sky for a moment, frowning at the faint glow that was just beginning to appear on the horizon. His watch hadn't ended until late in the night, and judging by the sky there were still several hours to go until sunrise. He wasn't typically the heaviest sleeper, but he didn't usually wake up before he needed without some cause.

Somewhere nearby, there was a whimper.

Sebastian sat up, letting his gaze quickly move over their camp. There was a familiar shadow a bit outside of camp, the outline of pointed ears and a giant sword making it clear that Fenris was on watch. But what then—?

There was another cry from nearby, this one louder than the first. It was still fairly quiet, Sebastian realized, likely not loud enough to disturb any of the others. Which made sense, he supposed. He suspected a Dalish camp and the Circle neither one made for light sleepers, what with the close quarters. And Hawke had shared a room with his siblings for years, until he had moved into his family's mansion.

The question was, who was making the sounds?

Frowning, Sebastian pushed himself to his feet and carefully started moving in the direction the noise had come from.

It didn't take long to discover its source.

Hawke was curled up on his bedroll, the movement under his eyelids so prominent that it could be clearly seen even in the dim moonlight. He was twisting from side to side in his sleep, pained noises escaping his lips every few seconds. His hands were in fists at his sides.

Sebastian had seen his fair share of nightmares over the years. The one Hawke was having was clearly a bad one.

Frowning, he knelt down at Hawke's side, careful to stay out of reach of his mild flailing. Sebastian knew better than to shake someone awake who was dreaming so deeply, especially when that person was a mage. Who knew what he was fighting in the Fade? Sebastian was certain that the demons had plenty of fodder, considering everything that Hawke had been through the past few years.

Carefully, and with more than a little uncertainty, Sebastian reached over and gently brushed a few strands of sweat-soaked hair out of Hawke's face. The man stilled at the touch, a quiet whimper escaping his lips a moment or two later.

"Hawke," Sebastian said gently. "Hawke, you need to wake up."

For a moment or two, Sebastian thought it wouldn't be enough. Then Hawke jerked as if he'd been hit, his eyes shooting open as he lurched upward into a sitting position.

Sebastian carefully brought his hands up so that Hawke could see them, not wanting the man to do anything rash while he was still half-asleep. "Hawke?"

"Sebastian?" Hawke's voice was slurred with sleep as he blinked a few times, a confused look on his face. He looked around almost nervously, obviously trying to reassure his mind that whatever nightmare he had been fighting had been left behind in the Fade. "What are you doing here?"

Sebastian gave him a tired smile. "Your dreaming was causing you some obvious distress."

Hawke's face flushed red under the scruff of his beard, and not for the first time Sebastian was reminded that the other man was quite a bit younger than he appeared. It was easier to tell in unguarded times like these, when he wasn't hiding behind the stoic mask that he usually wore during the day.

"I'm sorry," Hawke said, bringing his hands up to rub at his eyes. Whether it was to remove the sleep from them or to hide any suspicious wetness, Sebastian wasn't quite certain. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine, my friend," Sebastian said with a smile.

Hawke let out a shaky breath as he pulled his hands back down. His eyes were slightly red, which answered Sebastian's question about his reasons for rubbing his eyes, but Sebastian was careful not to let on that he had noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Sebastian reached out and patted Hawke on the shoulder. "You should try to get some more sleep," he said, trying to keep his tone casual. He wanted it to come across as a suggestion, not an order. As stubborn as Hawke was, he'd probably take it as a challenge otherwise. "There's still hours to go until sunrise."

"I don't think that's happening," Hawke said with a dry laugh that had just enough hysteria in it to give Sebastian cause to worry. Hawke reached up to rub his eyes again, pointedly looking away so that his face was hidden in shadow.

Sebastian hesitated for a moment, not entirely certain if the offer he wanted to make would be taken well. He had made it several times over the past few months, ever since Leandra's death, but Hawke had yet to take him up on it. Still, the part of him that was still a brother in the Chantry couldn't help but want to try again.

"Would it help if you talked about it?" Sebastian asked quietly.

Hawke suddenly went still, freezing in place as if he was made of stone. "No, it wouldn't," he said sharply. Then he flinched, the movement obvious even with his face turned away from Sebastian. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"It's fine, Hawke," Sebastian said, cutting in. He was careful to keep his voice calm and even, to make it as clear as he could that any fault rested with himself. Then he pushed himself to his feet, well aware that he had quite likely just made things worse. "I'll leave you be."

A slightly shaking hand shot out to grab at his leg, keeping him from walking away. Surprised, Sebastian turned his attention back to Hawke. The other man had finally turned his gaze back toward him, but his face was still in shadow and Sebastian couldn't quite see it clearly enough to tell what type of expression he was wearing.

"Can you just sit with me?" Hawke asked, and if he'd looked younger earlier then now he sounded like it. His face flushed slightly, but he pressed onward. "For just a little while?" There was a long pause before he added almost plaintively: "please?"

Sebastian wasn't certain he'd ever heard _that_ particular word come out of Hawke's mouth even once in the entirety of their acquaintance. At least not when it was aimed at him. And possibly not aimed at anyone else.

"Of course," Sebastian said, trying not to let his surprise show. He carefully lowered himself back to the ground beside Hawke. "Whatever you need."

Hawke hunched his back a little, so that he was almost curling in on himself. "Thank you," he said softly, his words barely audible.

The two of them sat there in silence for several minutes, neither of them speaking. It was a comfortable silence, though, not a fraught one. Then, with more than a little hesitation, Hawke leaned to the side a bit so that he was resting against Sebastian's shoulder.

With so little distance between them, Sebastian could hear the slight hitches in Hawke's breathing, as if he was trying his best to keep it steady and was having difficulty succeeding. He leaned slightly to the side, so that he was leaning against Hawke almost as much as the other man was leaning against him. Sebastian had almost forgotten just how soothing a tiny bit of human touch could be.

"Does it ever get better?" Hawke asked suddenly. "Losing your family?"

Sebastian frowned and stiffened slightly. A dozen responses ran through his mind, all of which he immediately discarded. He didn't want to lie, not to Hawke, but he also knew that sometimes the truth wasn't necessarily kind.

His hesitation must have shown in his posture, because Hawke let out a huff of breath that might have wanted to be a laugh. "Stupid question, I guess," Hawke said, shaking his head a little as he pulled away from Sebastian's shoulder.

Feeling almost as if he'd failed some type of test, Sebastian turned his face to the side somewhat so that he could see Hawke. "It never goes away," Sebastian said carefully. "That doesn't mean the hurt doesn't fade. Eventually. That much, I can promise you."

Hawke stared at him for a moment, not saying a word. There was an unreadable look on his face, one that Sebastian had seen before over the course of their friendship but had never quite managed to interpret.

Then, without any warning, Hawke leaned in and kissed him.

It could barely be considered a kiss by anyone's standards. Their lips barely even brushed each other's. Sebastian knew that his eyes were wide with surprise as Hawke pulled away, but he still couldn't help but feel a hint of amusement at the bright red flush on Hawke's cheeks. He pointedly tried not to think about what that fact might mean, just as he tried to push down the small voice inside him that was urging him to not worry about the myriad of reasons it would be a bad idea and simply kiss the man back.

"What was that?" Sebastian asked, reaching up to touch his lips for just a moment.

For a moment, he didn't think Hawke was going to answer. Then Hawke nervously bit his lip, his hands shifting nervously in his lap, as he carefully avoided meeting Sebastian's gaze. "Whatever you would like it to be."

Sebastian stared at him, trying his best to read Hawke's face even though he couldn't see his eyes. "A diplomatic reply," he said carefully, "but not actually an answer."

Hawke finally looked at him, and Sebastian felt his breath catch when their eyes met. He didn't know what he'd expected to see in the other man's face, but the complete _openness_ there caught him by surprise.

"Hawke," Sebastian said slowly, not entirely certain what he was even going to say, "I—"

"I know," Hawke said, cutting him off. His gaze dropped to his hands again, looking away from Sebastian. "It's fine, Sebastian. I know."

Despite everything, Sebastian felt the corner of his mouth turn upward. "I suppose that's good," he said slowly, "because I'm not certain that I do."

Hawke's head shot back up, and there was hope in his eyes.


End file.
